For years I was obsessed with making everyone in my life happy. I was a “yes” girl and when people were awful to me or talked about me behind my back, I couldn’t help but think that it was my fault. Here’s the thing, it was never my fault and as the old (hm, new?) adage goes, “Haters gonna hate.” There is such a thing as negative criticism, you know not constructive criticism. In order to wear confidence like a shiny new engagement ring, you’ll need to know how to deal with those Debbie Downers in your life – one hater at a time.
Below I’ll share the three kinds of haters I’ve encountered in my life and the best way to deal with their negative attitudes about seemingly everything that you do. This way, you can come out on top, show ‘em who is #boss, and maintain your integrity and your business’ integrity in the process.
The “Let me ride your coattails” Hater
This is the hater that is constantly making suggestions on how you could improve your business. Oftentimes, they are doing this in a very public way so that your followers/supporters see their comments. Their end goal might be to get more followers/supporters or potentially turn your followers/supporters against you. Whatever it might be, at the end of the day, trust me, they know just what they are doing. So, what should you do? Check out their profile. Are their suggestions legit because they have real experience to back up their line of thinking? If not, pay no mind. If you see that they are unprofessional, chance is your followers will see that too and your following and integrity will be no worse for wear.
The “I’ll say/do anything to get your attention” Hater
These kinds of haters are often the ones who say mean things just to say mean things. Author James Altucher explains in his blog post, “The Ultimate Cheat Sheet for Dealing with Haters,” that haters can be literally anyone – even your family and friends. He goes on to state that haters are scared and that “hate is just fear indulged.” So those mean comments you’re getting sadly used to on your blog posts, Instagram and Facebook, they are likely a result of fear and further, a need for validation that the hater’s fears are real. They’ll do anything to get your attention and translate that fear to you. Don’t let them. Take a deep breath, shrug it off and realize that their fear is not your fear. Altucher says that he’ll even delete his haters. The less time you can give to a hater, the more time you have to give to yourself and your business.
The “You’ll Never Amount to Anything” Hater
This kind of hater is similar to the above, but they might be more subtle. They might say things in passing or just tell you that what you are doing is impossible and your business is going to be hard. Let them say those things. After all, it is your business not theirs. You decide your future and you decide what you put your energy into. At the end of the day, do you want to be known for all the things you didn’t do because of what a few haters said? My answer is “no” and I hope yours is too!
For more tips on how to deal with haters, I like this article by Forbes. Remember that haters are inevitable and it is how you deal with them that will separate you from their negativity. What do you do to combat the haters and rise above? Let me know in the comments!